Dreams and hard work

I once read a quote written by Colin Powell, it simply said:

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.”

Since meeting my other half, we literally haven’t stopped. I was always someone who was happy to have a lie in, or sit in front of the TV of an evening for hours and although we still do that on occasion, it’s very rare that we stop to do very little regularly.

We don’t dream of a flashy life, with loads of money, expensive cars, gadgets and an immaculate home, our dreams are about becoming self-sufficient, eating what we grow, living in something we have built, having things we have made around us and having enough money to simply ‘get by’… the only luxury we truly long for, is the time to sit back and to enjoy it.

I am not saying our life is the life everyone must lead, but it has become frustratingly obvious that some people, somehow think that we have come by this lifestyle through luck and that everything has just fallen into place. The fact that I have pulled myself out of a deep depression in the past and try and remain upbeat and positive in the posts I write here and Instagram, just aren’t enough for some. Some clearly wish to see me spout off all the negative things that have happened to me.

I simply won’t become that negative person again, the person myself, my husband and my family have worked so hard to make positive. What I will write about is how we have come to be here, how we have this magical place to live in and how we continue to grow despite all the trying times…

Hard work

People see this blog and the little squares on Instagram and even those who know us, think that we have come by this by luck; it’s all hard graft.

• It’s finishing work and starting on DIY or the million other jobs on the list.
• It’s constantly adapting the business.
• Getting my little girl to bed or preschool, to then focus on designing a brochure for the business or contacting people about the blog or thinking up new ideas to sell, to bring in a much needed income for myself.
• It’s battling the elements to tend to trees that are wind blown while others are cosy indoors.
• It’s working most weekends when most are out socialising.
• I choose to be at home with our daughter, through choice, as well as necessity. We simply cannot afford childcare; if I worked part time or full time, I would simply be working to pay for it and anyway, I want to be at home with my girl. I actively enjoy playing silly games and making things, but it IS hard work. I can’t write a blog post without feeling gut wrenching guilt that she is sitting on the bed next to me, reading alone.  It’s never for long, but I feel so guilty. I don’t have the luxury of a clear mind to work… you may be able to tell through this ramble of a post!
• It’s working all hours when my body is aching from an AS flare.

Determination

This magical place we live in, was being sold off as three separate auction lots, it took time and a lot of focus to buy it. There was a footpath that ran straight through the middle of the yard and it took years of planning, forms, thousands of pounds and hours upon hours of office work to get it diverted. This was our business premises and we were living in a studio flat at our in-laws throughout pregnancy and early newborn days, we didn’t have our own space, we barely had an inch to move, all because we were going through the long, arduous process of planning here. Those blissful baby days, are forever tinged with regret, that we didn’t have a beautiful home to bring our baby home to. There were a lot of doubters, who told us not to get our hopes up, or that it probably wouldn’t happen, but despite that, after years of determination, we are here now and I refuse to let anyone dampen my happiness simply to be here.

Sacrifice

We live in the most beautiful spot,in the middle of the woods, we have a lot of space in our home, but what people don’t see, is that this building is old; it’s an old, shabby ex-office building, it’s still covered with lots of office sockets, the ceiling has suspended ceiling tiles which, when the roof leaks in heavy rain, become stained. We are working so hard to convert this space, but it means we also have to make huge sacrifices.

• It’s getting so engrossed in a DIY project that we innocently forget to text someone back.
• It’s mucking in with our neighbours and fixing up the lane on weekends when we just want to be sitting in a pub with friends.
• It’s watching all the beautiful oak framed buildings going out of the OH’s workshop/framing yard and knowing that we may never have a home as beautiful as those he has built for someone else.
• It’s seeing everyone else’s beautiful homes with old beams or spruced up modern interiors and beautiful decor and knowing we can’t have that right now, simply because a full conversion of this place would cost thousands in time and money.
• It’s knowing, I can’t have the nice new car, new clothes and stunning holidays because we have a business to run and are overheads currently mean the luxuries simply aren’t possible.
• It’s not having the security of a monthly wage packet.

So, to anyone out there dreaming of a life that resembles ours, (once again, I’m absolutely not arrogantly saying ours is the best life to live) you CAN do it. It IS possible with hard work and determination. It really IS possible.

I am not complaining, I am not being negative, neither am I bragging about my life. I started this blog and my Instagram to be open and honest about the work we do, the life we lead, the struggles we face, but it is so sad that when it comes to the ‘good stuff’ I am almost called into question by people, about how we live our life and the posts I put on Instagram. It has taken a lot to become the person I am, the wife, the mother, the family, the home and land owners that we are, it just makes me so sad that in this day and age, I can’t be openly upbeat about the life I/we have built for ourselves.

{Photograph: Lyndsey Goddard}